Darrington Academy Blogs

When I started the program I was in resistance.  I didn’t want to work because I was determined to prove to my parents Darrington Academy didn’t work and that they were idiots for sending me here.  There were times I would try to get my Mom to hate my Dad because it was easier to manipulate her.  I would run old patterns.  I kept it up for ten months of my program even though inside part of me wanted to change but I was too determined to prove everyone wrong and myself right.  After choosing out of my first Discovery I didn’t go for 8 months.  This was in the first ten months I was in resistance.  I was getting tired of living in my own skin and I was running out of patience with myself.  I was also tired of hurting people around me and fighting with my Mom and Dad.  Eventually, after seeing one of my sisters in the program come out of Discovery loving herself, it was like a huge slap in the face and I stared working because I wanted to love myself and stop causing pain to those around me as well as myself.  Something I realized is, we don’t just cause pain to ourselves but to others.  Especially the people who love us the most because no matter how much we hurt them, they are still there with their arms open to take us back.  When I finally went through Discovery it was a great experience for me and it was like finding me again.  I finally saw my Mom and Dad after a year of not talking to them on the phone or face to face, it was an emotional experience.  You don’t honestly see how much you really need them until they are gone.  During those two days I realized I loved them and need them in my life.  After PC1 I started doing better.  I was so happy but then part of me was still in resistance with the program and I questioned it so I fell back before Focus.  I passed a note to a boy and didn’t get caught for while then I got through Focus and I destroyed myself because to much hit me right at once.  Things I avoided for years slapped me in the face and who i could really be scared me.  i got disciplinary action after Focus but I punished myself more than what I got in trouble for, and hurt people along the way.  Later on I used the excuse of falling to quit everything.  I told myself I didn’t deserve to live.  I was a screw up and I should die.  I wasn’t worthy.  I just kept sabotaging myself day after day for something so small, but my mind set was once again trying to prove DA wrong and the seminars can’t change me, that they actually make things worse when it wasn’t even close.  Still, this time I tried to cover it up so I took it out on my parents again and the family here.  I was soon put on separation for my negativity then I got put on shadow buddy because they were scared for me and needed someone to watch me.  I became depressed.  I tried to make my parents feel bad for putting me here by telling lies and telling them I hated them and when I turned 18 I’d leave and never speak to them again.  Then something happened, I got switched to another family but I kept running the same old patterns until eventually once again i was finally tired of feeling the way that I did.  My parents put me in therapy and I realized the payoff’s I was getting for my actions were stupid.  Not only was I just hurting people but I was living my life day by day without meaning because my lies and anger were destroying me inside.  I finally hit rock bottom.  But because of the commitment my parents, my Family Rep., and everyone else who cared about me had for themselves and for me to complete my program it was important for me to leave here, even if it really hurt them to see me fall.  It opened up a door for change and that is just what happened.  I created change.  Now I am working on healing from my past and what I have done to myself and what others have done to me as well as forgiving and building a relationship with my parents.

I can say that my parents saved my life, first by putting me here and second by keeping me here, because every day I realize how much my life is worth and the value of it.  I know if my parents brought me home I would have been dead, pregnant and doing what I was doing that got me here.  But because of their love I am still alive.  I want to graduate because I see the value of the program and the tools the seminars can give you will assist your life.  I know there will be times I will fall, but in the end I will get myself back up.  Not just because I am starting to truly love myself but because I want a great life.  I want to prove to myself I am worth something and I can finish something I started.  See, when we don’t complete something we start it gives us an excuse to quit and that is what I have always done is quit.  All I have been through was worth it because I learned to grow in many areas.  There are things I’d take back but because of what I have learned I wouldn’t  But because of the people who loved me, especially my parents, and realizing the truth, I realized who I really am and what I really want for myself in life.  I am becoming confident and happier each day.  I am a spiritual, talented, exotic, playful, priceless, capable, and mature young woman.  My purpose is to embrace the power within my heart while loving myself and others.  I value: God, family, friendship, love, life education, peace and respect.

NELLY D.

CURRENTLY ENROLLED

DARRINGTON ACADEMY

Posted on December 21st, 2007 by admin
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My journey through the program has been a roller coaster.  I have had many ups and downs in many areas of my life and my denials have been just sputters on the tracks of my roller coaster, pauses in motion, a view of the now, and through my program, it has been the most powerful place for me to be.  It gives me an opportunity to stop and look at all the areas in my life.  I realize each time that in order to continue on my journey, to ease the tension on my tracks, I have to change something, lighten my load, and stop the resistance in order to keep my tracks smooth.  I chose out of Focus for the first time, and it was my biggest challenge I had to overcome, it was a changing point as well.  At times, I have felt myself wanting to give up.  I found myself finding no purpose in the program, no value from its lessons.  In that, I had no motivation.  If there is no value, what is there to work for?  If I have learned all there is to learn, why waste my time?  I was moving through the motions, moving in a body, but not living through life.  Doing the motions to do the time.  I convinced myself the things I have to offer were not seen or appreciated, and the things I find here cannot make me happy.  In turn, I truly was not happy.  I did not feel like my voice meant anything and I held everything in.  I did not see the power in expressing myself, so I did not, and with all this I was just walking the earth, but without rainy days, the sunny ones would mean nothing.  As I realized how unhappy I was and the crap I was sitting in, I had to make a choice.  I had to decide what was more important to me, staying safe and letting fear run me, or surrendering.  Just like when I chose out of Focus, I realized that it was not worth it to keep living my life through fear to protect myself.  If I want to be happy and want all of my desires, I would have to surrender, I would have to choose to do things that scared me, things that made me uncomfortable, and things I did not want to do, and I knew in the end it would be worth it.  In order to surrender I would have to relive Focus and dive.  Each time I dive it becomes a little bit easier, and each time I jump, I learn one more thing that helps me realize I can be happy.  Something that has opened my eyes to  my greatness and my power was something a man I respect greatly said to me, “Feedback is not your diamond, it is the layers built up around your diamond.”  At that moment, I realized what I was doing, how I was pushing everyone away and running from all my problems.  I was taking feedback to heart, beating myself up over the feedback I received about what was not working for me and blinding myself from all my greatness.  Blinded from my greatness and built up with all my layers, there was no way my journey on my roller coaster could keep moving.  When I realized I am all the awesome things I tell myself, and some of the actions I make do not work for me, but that does not change who I am, then I was ready to  deal.  I was then able to conquer my fears that held me back and I was able to dive.  In order to embrace all my power, I had to dive many times.  This involved me opening up to my family, my sisters, my mom, my chaperone’s, everyone!  That was a high dive.  I had to let go of my fears, let go of my expectations, and let go of pre-made beliefs.  My results were something different.  I benefited from the responses, I connected with other people, and in turn the people around me and we created closer relationships and learned from each other.  i have also taken on this essay as well as a few others to express and enhance my growth.  Each time I share with someone, each time I express myself, I lose a little bit of my layers and I ease the tension and resistance that much more, and slowly but surely my tracks become smoother and my roller coaster stops sputtering and as I move forward and I finally reach the top, it is just one more opportunity to dive.

BRIANA C.

CURRENTLY ENROLLED

DARRINGTON ACADEMY

Posted on December 21st, 2007 by admin
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The actual definition of leadership is the position to lead.  The definition of a leader is a person who had commanding authority or influence.  While this is great, I have a different perspective.  I say a leader is a positive working role model who holds their standards.  It doesn’t matter who you are, you can always be a leader.  A leader does what they’re supposed to be doing at all times and encourages others to do the same.  They have integrity and choose to use it.  They show up not show off.  They take risks daily knowing it could possibly set them back.   They risk making a mistake; they risk everything because they want something different for themselves.  They are honest with themselves and other people, and not when it’s convenient for them, but all the time.  They are honest, knowing there’s a possibility that they could get in trouble because of it.  They consistently hold their standards and don’t care if people judge them for doing it.  They are assertive but humble at the same time and hold themselves gracefully.  Leaders are open for change and accept feedback but they look at it, analyze what isn’t working, and do something different. They inspire other to work.  They support those who are working and assist those who aren’t.  A leader is someone who people look up to for guidance and assistance.  Someone who is positive and finds solutions to their problems, but also asks for assistance along the way.  Leaders want to make a change in themselves and in the world around them.  I see myself as a really big leader.  It has been brought to my attention that I always sabotage  myself because I would doubt my capability.  Since Focus I have broken that patterns which before was the downfall in my program and life.  I follow through in my word and in my position as a leader.  I’m holding very high standards for myself and my program family.  I don’t let the small things slide because I know the small things turn into much bigger things.  I use my integrity and refer myself a self correction from time to time.  Even though I lose some points I gain an opportunity to learn from it instead of avoiding it.  I also keep my agreements I make to myself and others.  I’m pushing myself academically and raising my own bar.  I’m hoping to finish Algebra by this Friday, which I’ve been struggling in for five months.  This will mean I’m officially in 10th grade.  I see myself as a very positive and working leader and I do things to show up not show off.  I give a lot of opportunities to my family here and am always willing to assist my sisters in every way.  I live and breathe my purpose every day, I found out that by having a purpose and vision, the “How” kind of comes naturally.  Looking at only one way of doing things really limits what you can do.  I am starting to find my own solutions with very little assistance, compared to as before being completely dependent on others.  I feel I am a very powerful person and I am making a difference in my life and others.  I encourage my non working sisters to set reachable yet risky goals and to never settle for the good enough because I definitely won’t settle for anything less than greatness in myself or them.  I know my leadership shines brightly inside of Darrington, and I’m committed to bringing it outside of the program as well.  Being a leader means doing whatever it takes to make a difference in the world.

BRIANA M.

CURRENTLY ENROLLED

DARRINGTON ACADEMY

Posted on December 21st, 2007 by admin
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My husband and I returned from our first seminar, Discovery, on January 28th.  We had many feelings upon flying to Houston, most of them having to do with fear.  We also had excitement, but the overriding feeling was fear.  I think I felt we would be singled out as “being bad parents”, because after all, we had chosen to turn over out parenting duties to outside assistance in parenting our “out of control teen”.  In my mind, this  made us less than perfect parents.

Upon our arrival, my first feeling was “we were not alone” any longer in our journey.  After getting over my own insecurities, overcoming my discomforts, learning to communicate in a positive manner, and opening my mind to becoming an active participant, this exercise became uplifting.  Now, that last sentence had a lot of words and statements in it.  I have begun to realize this is an on-going journey and not a quick fix.  This is an on-going process and something we need to work on so our family can be healthy and happy.  There is no set time limit and everyone is different.

We learned about commitment.  Our teen had been in Darrington Academy during the last year, before attending Cross Creek.  We bargained with her before going to Darrington, that if she worked hard, we would bring her home in three months.  We were told that only a very small percentage of teens can make the necessary changes in their lives in that short of time.  We were hopeful that our teen would succeed and be in that small percentage that makes the necessary changes in  her life.  We were wrong.  We did bring her home after three months, only to find our teen had fine tuned her manipulations, dishonesty and her bad behaviors only increased.  We are committed to this program now.  We are committed to see her graduate the program.  I can only say, don’t let outside influences be a detriment to you.  Don’t let your own agenda get in the way of the health of your child and your family.  His or her life may depend on your commitment.

Because of past misbehaviour’s, our family has had a very tough time with trust issues.  Our Discovery seminar, gave us some tools to start our rebuilding process.  It gave us a starting point, and we know we have a long journey ahead.  We are now looking forward to Focus.  The key word there is “forward”.  We are no longer dwelling in the past, but moving towards a common goal, as a family.

We have returned home with confidence in our decision about enrolling her in Cross Creek.  We have a certain amount of peace in our home, our hearts, and when we go to sleep at  night.  We know our teen is safe and take a great amount of solace in that, which we haven’t had in several years.  This doesn’t mean that we don’t miss our teen, we do very much.  We just recognize how much we love her, by doing the right thing by putting her in Cross Creek.  We have given her another chance and ourselves too.

CAROL C.

DAUGHTER JESSICA G.

ATTENDED DARRINGTON ACADEMY

CURRENTLY ENROLLED CROSS CREEK PROGRAMS

Posted on December 10th, 2007 by admin
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Today is not the ending but the beginning of another chapter in our lives.  It is wonderful to be here today knowing that graduation of not only the program but also high school has been fully accomplished.  The way I see it is everything we do is to make it somewhere else.  Graduating High School has made it possible for all of us to now pursue educationally what we want to be as adults.  Graduating the program has made it possible to see the direction in our lives.  But the test is not graduating the program and completing high school, it is what we do with ourselves now that we have accomplished these goals.

Although today may be a  day of celebration; tomorrow starts a fresh start, a second chance.  You can throw this chance away or take full advantage of a new start.  If there is one thing I have learned from the trials and tribulations lately is that not everyone is offered such a gift.  We as young adults will decide what direction our world takes.  We now influence others, chose what is right and wrong, prove to be people of importance.  This task may seem overwhelming, but it is definately not impossible.  We have the power to decide what the future holds.  The question is…are you ready to take on a new life?

I think that for all of us graduating today the answer is YES!

RYAN B.

GRADUATED DARRINGTON ACADEMY

HONOR GRAD FEBRUARY 2007

HE PRESENTED THIS SPEECH TO THE GRADUATING CLASS

Posted on December 4th, 2007 by admin
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A few days ago, I had some “hard times” because of disciplinary action due to my grades.

And guess what? It didn’t kill me!

I had some things going on with me and I ended up getting my priorities all out of whack. I wasn’t so focused on school anymore and I just didn’t get the necessary points. At first, I was pretty disappointed in myself and so were my parents, especially since I was supposed to have my very first off grounds visit that same weekend. My mom even took off work and everything. But I knew sitting around feeling sorry for myself wasn’t going to help me get back up and on track with graduation. So, I sat down one night and really looked at everything I could possibly do to get out of trouble so I made goals for myself I am currently working to completing those goals. I see how consistency is a huge part of being an upper level and living my life the way I want to live it. I actually made a plan for myself for when I get back up to where i was. I am going to keep my school in check. Something that helps me when times seem to get rough is to always keep in mind that this is all a part of becoming what I really want to be and living up to who I really am. I am meant to be something far greater than what I, at times, give myself credit for and continuing to learn these lessons and facing what is in front of me is all a part of that.

I am a beautiful, amazing, worthy, and strong young woman and there is no “hard time” in the world that could ever kill me. I can get through it all and I will.

KELSEY J

CURRENTLY ENROLLED

DARRINGTON ACADEMY

Posted on December 4th, 2007 by admin
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Having trust with your parents and yourself is one of the most important things to have in your everyday life. It is a tool that allows us to grown and learn with ourselves and our parents. While it is one of the most important things, it is also one of the hardest thing to earn. Kids, especially teenagers, take the whole trust factor for granted. Taking trust for granted shows the child still has a lot of maturing to do. Kids may tell themselves and others that they don’t care if their parents don’t’ trust them, but they do. Every kid wishes they could just tell them what they were doing and where they are going. This is where the lying comes in. Kids are afraid their parents would get made, so they lie to cover it up. While lying may be good in the short run, it always comes back to haunt you in the long run. No matter how good you are at lying, in the end it will all come back at you.

Kids never think about the long run, that is what shows our immaturity. Kids don’t take the time to stop and think about what is best for them in the long run. It is always what is happening now. Every kid goes through this phase and they always learn the hard way. If only kids would understand that telling the truth is the best thing. yes, the truth might be painful and it might make your parents mad, but in the long run you will look back and know that you did the right thing. Maturity is the best thing that happens to a kid but unfortunately it takes time. All parents want to be told the truth. Kids don’t understand how bad it hurts when they lie to their parents. Parents don’t understand why their child would lie to them. Parents start to think they did something wrong, but they didn’t. The child made the decision to lie and eventually they will get caught up in their lies. From personal experience, my advice is to tell the truth. No matter how hard or how painful it is you will be happy in the long run.

I believe the ultimate goal in life is to be happy. If you are happy and grateful no matter what hardships come at you, that show’s the ultimate maturity. Telling the truth no matter what, puts you on the road to happiness. Being honest with yourself is even more difficult than being honest with others. If you can be honest with yourself and trust yourself to do the right thing, everything will be okay. you have to be strong and make the right decisions. If you honest with yourself you can be honest with others. One of the hardest things to do is admit when you are wrong. It takes a lot of strength to be honest with yourself. When you are truly honest with yourself is when you know that you know yourself. Be honest with everyone and everything and you will be happy.

Teddy W.

Currently Enrolled

Darrington Academy

Posted on December 3rd, 2007 by admin
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When we send our children to a school to get themselves back on track we must remember that even though we have placed them in a place we know they need to be, the time it takes for them to turn things around is different for all of them.

These kids have been doing things that greatly impact their behaviors for a very long time in many cases. I know for my son, he was making choices for years that were getting him into trouble on a regular basis.

Believe it or not, these kids have tools, Many of them think they are great tools and work fine and they really don’t feel the need to look at their role in the results they are getting. When they are in a place where they consequences are there and consistent and never changing that is when many of them will finally start to see that, just maybe, they should think about getting some new tools.

With the fall upon us I started to think about the fact that just like when we plant seeds to grow our vegetables and other plants that they need to go through different stages very much like our teens. They cannot just go from a seed to a flowering or fruit producing plant. There is no possibility that they will actually become an edible fruit or vegetable that can be harvested without many things taking place prior to the harvest.

The plants will need water, sun and the proper climate. Some also need the help from bees to pollinate and produce more flowers and more vegetables.

If the farmer were to pick the vegetables too soon they will not be very tasty and may be bitter and not even look like the end product if it has not been allowed to ripen on the vine.

Our children in the school are very much the same. They need to receive all of the proper care and nutrients in order to grow and become who they are meant to be. They also need to be receptive to the idea that they will be growing and learning. If they are hardened to the ideas of change it may take longer. Think of it like a drought of sorts. The ground gets hard and packed and dry and not much will grow. But once the rains come and the ground softens then the plants will flourish.

Therefore much like the forcing the harvest will not work on the plants, it will not work on our teens. They need to be ready to change and looking forward to doing things differently in the future.

When the ground is soft and the water and fertilizer can penetrate to the roots the plants thrive! In much the same way, it is only when our children are receptive to what they are being offered from the school, and from us as parents or caretakers, that they will they be able to truly grown and flourish.

If the ground is really hard the few drops of rain that fall will have no effect. In much the same way if the rain comes too forcefully and quickly, you will simply have run off and it will not stay to help the plants. It is only after along extended period of steady rain, mixed with the right amount of sunshine and nutrients, that they plants will respond to the effects of the water and the nourishment being provided, and start to grow. Much like plants, our teens need that continual and steady rain of love and support and the warmth similar to that provided by the sun.

Water and rain can have a powerful impact on our earth, and in much the same way we can use it to impact our teens. Depending on how hardened and dry the earth is, will depend on the amount of rain ad the time period it will take to soften.

Once the softening has begun things will start to go easier for them. There can still be some dry spells or sometimes too much rain, but we must not give up too soon or pour on so much that we overwhelm them. By staying strong and steady and consistent and not giving up on our little sprouts, we will eventually see them fully blossom and become the fully ripened harvest that they are meant to be.

There will be times when we may feel discouraged and feel like we are not having an effect on them. The roots are there the sun is shining and we are providing the water and the fertilizer yet the ground is unyielding or so it seems. Then slowly things start to feel different. You notice a change in them. It may be just a little thing, but a sign of some new growth. You stay strong and add more drops of water. You remain that slow steady and beneficial type of rain. you can help to support them with exactly what they need from you. Not too much and not too little.

In the end the plant produces a great gift to those who are willing to take part. It can be a variety of plants, anywhere from a sweet ear of corn to a great bit juicy apple!! Each one different but all just as good and the very best when they are picked at exactly the right time!!!

Janet C.

Son Anthony C.

enrolled Darrington Academy

Posted on December 3rd, 2007 by admin
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Out of shear desperation and fear for her life we took our daughter to Darrington Academy on September 15, 2006. We knew very little about Darrington, or the program, only what we had learned over the past couple of weeks when it became apparent that we had lost control of our daughter’s life and needed some outside help.

She had just turned seventeen and was self-destructing at a terrifyingly rapid pace. We knew if we didn’t take drastic steps fast, we would be facing much worse issues in the near future, including possible death. It was by far the hardest parenting decisions of our lives.

We learned it generally took upwards of 14-to-24 months to complete the behavior modification program. We knew Kelsey was entering the program late at age 17 and there was a good chance she would walk out when she turned 18, before she understood and trusted the program enough to stay and take full advantage of the life changing process.

We were even more concerned when the first few months passed and she appeared to be compliant but not really engaged in the program. In our weekly letters she made it clear she felt she didn’t need this structured school and we were just wasting our money.

Needless to say, we were full of guilt, doubt and concern and were emotionally drained. Soon we learned that the program was not just for the teens, but for the parents too. We attended Discovery and Focus seminars and before long our guilt, doubt and concern was replaced with a feeling of commitment and strength and we had a new found support system.

We knew th teens attended the same seminars and we were hopeful our daughter would experience the seminars in the same life changing way as we did. Soon after she completed Orientation and Discovery she began staffing other seminars and became a hope buddy and push buddy for new teens coming into the program. She was finally learning there was something to this program. She was learning some valuable life lessons and acquiring toosl that she could apply to everyday living. It also was helping to build up her self-confidence and self-worth which she desperately lacked.

Once it was evident Kelsey was experiencing the seminars as life changing, her letters were increasingly positive but still no commitment to completing the program. As we continued working our program we made it clear to her that we were changing and the rules that she would be coming home to were changing as well. Life as she knew it was changing, and now she was faced with making some hard decisions.

More seminars for each of us supported her growth in the program. An open and honest discussion of her exit plan, support from the Darrington Staff and other upper level teens, and her own motivation to finally complete something she started, seemed to be directing her towards finishing the program.

Finally, three months before turning 18, she committed to us that she planned to complete the program. She was quickly learning that it is one thing to acquire the tools, but applying them as an upper level was proving to be quite a challenge for her. She realizes now that staying in the program until completion will make her stronger and more capable of facing her future challenges. She also knows that taking her exit plan doesn’t support her new goals and dreams she has now set for herself.

As parents we are so proud of Kelsey for the efforts put forth and challenges she has overcome, but we are also proud of ourselves for making the necessary changes in our lives that will enable us to have a working family again, regardless of the choices she makes going forward with her life.

Rick and Kim D.

Daughter Kelsey D.

Darrington Academy

Posted on December 3rd, 2007 by admin
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It has been nearly a year since I was taken from Juvenile Detention to my new school sic hours away in Blue Ridge, Georgia. My parents had enough of my desperate attempts to be independent and in control.

September 15, 2006, I took the plunge into a life I never imagined I would have. I was a jaded seventeen year old and had been living a double life since I entered the ninth grade. I was mentally and physically consumed by my misdirection. Never-the-less, I still had my pride; my complete stubbornness that helped me get to were I was. This so called “Character Building Program” was something I was going to buck until freedom day; the day I turned eighteen. For months on end, I planned my future outside the gates I despised. This future had nothing to do with family, school, or education. It had everything to do, however, with drugs, promiscuity, and fun.

Today, August 13th, 2007, is freedom day. I am a brand new, conscious, strong-minded young woman. This is the day I have envisioned for a very long time. The only difference is that I am still here behind the same white fences I once loathed. I’m not angry but practically overflowing with serenity and joy. Choosing to stay at Darrington is the landmark of my adulthood. The decision, though not easy, was clear. I have decided it is finally time to make responsible decisions. Decisions that will do nothing but enhance my life and everyone in it. I feel proud above all things that I have committed to something and chosen to complete it.

I will look back on this decision for years to come, it will be my drive. For I know if I can make it through this, I can make it through anything. I have simply amazed myself with the way I have changed my life around. I am confident I would never have chosen to do such a thing had I not come to Darrington. It is enlightening to know that I am a role model to my peers and most importantly the one’s turning eighteen soon. Had it not been for the role models, I may not be writing this today. In closing,m I’d like to give myself a much needed pat on the back. The pride that once hindered me has now become much help. It will continue to aid me as a I graduate from Darrington and start a new , very exciting, chapter of my life.

Kelsey D.

Currently Enrolled

Darrington Academy

Posted on December 3rd, 2007 by admin
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